Other things we need to talk about
Oregon Trail Card (food stamps)
Vote Robert Schwartz
- As you know, typical political web sites and the vaguely written voters pamphlet are poll tested virtue signaling garbage that is for the weak minded who crave the confirmation of leftist ideas. I used the voters pamphlet more as a letter to you. In it I said I would share some of the more entertaining doors I knocked on.
the 6 most intresting doors
Voters Pamphlet
- Me: my name is.......I'll ask for your vote.
- Door: I dont vote.
- Me: Why not?
- Door: Cause I might get colon cancer.
- Me: I am not sure I understand.
- Door: The stuff I read in the voters pamphlet make me feel like you people are blowing smoke up my ...(behind)
- Me: HAHAHAHA
Abortion
- Me:...I'll ask for your vote
- Door: I am pro-choice, how do you feel about abortion?
- Me: Sometimes bad things happen. Women need to be able to safely take care of themselves and I understand that. That being said I'll tell you what I tell my kids. "A pro-choice man is a bad choice, he is only looking to divest himself of the consequences of his actions"
- Door: Honey, get the kids, they need to hear this guy.
IP 43 & IP 44 (Gun Confiscation)
- Me: ...I'll ask for your vote
- Door: How do you feel about IP43 and IP 44? I am in law enforcement by the way.
- Me: You know more about it then me. You tell me how should I feel.
- Door: You should be against it
- Me: Why's that? (I was suprised)
- Door: BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO LAND ON MY DESK AND I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT S*#!
- Me: I'll let Kate Brown know how you feel if I run into her.
Gun Control
- Me:...I'll ask for your vote.
- Door: How do you feel about gun control?
- Me: I would love to see gun safety classes offered in school again. It used to be called hunter safety class. I believe trigger discipline through education is the most effective gun control. Trigger discipline also just happens be the best solution to unwanted pregnancies.
- Door: Trigger discipline as birth control? OH, I GET IT!! HAHAHAHA (blushing)
Cyber Security
- Me:... I'll as for your vote.
- Door: What would you do to make sure the elections don't get hacked?
- Me: I will build a wall, a terrific wall, the besty wall of all time, and it will be a warm wall, no a hot wall, in fact I will call it a FIREWALL.
- Door: You crack me up!
Springfield Round-A-Bouts (Traffic Control)
- Me:...I'll as for your vote.
- Door: How do you feel about the new round-a-bouts in Springfield?
- Me: We love them. Sometimes I just pack the family up and we drive around in circles all day.
- Door: I love them too! I'll do a lucky tap dance to help you win. (Starts doing a tap dance)
- 2nd person at door: Sorry, he didn't take his medicine today.
- Me: I can't lose with support like that!!!